Psalm 51...I am forgiven...

i dont even know how to start this off, but God is a loving God. I started my day, withOUT a quiet time, which i was soon convicted of because i do not like my 8-10 teacher and i could tell something was unsettling when i wanted to stab in the eyes with my pencil :(i moped around most of the day, trying to take advantage of the silence but not being able to. i still didnt do my quiet time.a friend approached me this evening. i friend that i had hurt deeply but we had never talked about it. i already knew what it was. it was something in my past that was going to be brought up again and my pain was already starting to come back from the mistake i had made. after i left i cried, so hard, i wanted to cry on the floor, crawl up like a baby and have a pity party, God didnt think that was such a good idea. i was yelling at myself because i'm trying SO HARD to live out this christian life, that when i screw up everyone is slandering my name, people that dont even know me, are talking behind my back. i ran to the nearest bathroom in the building and cried, i brought my bible.i sat on the cold tile under the sink and opened my bible to psalm 51. the psalm that speaks to me and my past so dearestly. God had known my transgressions, he knows my sin, and i only sin against him, my father, my creator. i prayed for forgiveness and i felt God speak to me that my sin was already gone. that i have an audience of one. HIM. the crazy thing is that the 40days paper fell out and i noticed the psalm i was supposed to read today. psalm 51. i chuckled and cried tears of joy, that even on a cold tile floor, i was in the hands of a loving forgiving God. and even after that, the speaker at quest tonight spoke of HOSEA. that he was to marry a whore, and love her, like he loves the israelites. i kept crying tears of joy, i was the whore, i was the sinner, that keeps sinning, but yet God dusts us off from sin, gives up strength to walk with him, to sin no more and to bring GLORY, not to my name, but to his. "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions."they are blotted out.Praise Him.-Amen